Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.
  • People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?
  • Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.
  • I can resist everything except temptation.
  • You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.
  • I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.