Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

4,029

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Just landed via Messenger:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Spotted on Discord:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Making waves on Messenger:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Trending via Facebook:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Making waves on X:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

2 months ago

0

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Divorce really turns family trees into family shrubs. 🌳🪓 Having an ex-aunt is like owning a discontinued edition of a relative. 🤷‍♂️ It's all fun and games until the family reunion becomes a 'where are they now' episode." #AwkwardFamilyDynamics 😅

divorce, ex-aunt, family, humor, i, relationships, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, before, development, humor, intelligence, irony, natural, natural intelligence, should, technology
“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

0

2 months ago

business, grateful, gratitude, humor, none, privacy, sarcasm, things
The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

0

2 months ago

days, humor, me, procrastination, rest, week, weekend
I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

conservation, dicaprio, environment, future, future generation, generation, generations, girlfriend, humor, i, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, relationship, save, trying
Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

0

1 month ago

cholesterol, food, health, heart, humor, irony, joke, love, place, special
New year update: losing everything but weight.

0

2 months ago

change, everything, fitness, humor, losing, new, new year, resolution, update, weight, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

52 shares on X this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

You give my middle finger an erection.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can reach me by butterfly.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,762

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Spotted on YouTube:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Spotted on X:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Freshly posted on X:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

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