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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The void screams into me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Making waves on Twitch:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Spotted on Messenger:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Trending via Messenger:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Trending via Messenger:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Making waves on Instagram:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Going viral on Telegram:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

2 months ago

0

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Divorce really turns family trees into family shrubs. 🌳🪓 Having an ex-aunt is like owning a discontinued edition of a relative. 🤷‍♂️ It's all fun and games until the family reunion becomes a 'where are they now' episode." #AwkwardFamilyDynamics 😅

divorce, ex-aunt, family, humor, i, relationships, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

0

2 months ago

around, bird, flying, humor, love, me, metaphor, moving, relationship
I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

0

2 months ago

activity, beginner, belt, black, black belt, consumerism, humor, i, shopping, skill, things
Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

0

2 months ago

advice, biologically, biology, connect, connection, daily, eat, else, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, food, fun, good, human, human connection, humans, humor, laid, life, life advice, literally, motivation, reminder, yourself
I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

0

2 months ago

apple, eaten, eating, fall, food, humor, i, mistake, people, percentage, pretty, relatable, sticker, sure, under
I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, awkwardness, food, hate, humor, i, offer, situation, social, social situation, someone
When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, childhood, cocktail, drunk, humor, i, kid, misunderstanding, shrimp, thought, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

74 shares on Discord this month:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My middle finger salutes you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Making waves on TikTok:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Trending via LinkedIn:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Making waves on Reddit:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Trending via Twitch:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

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