Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Shared recently on Discord:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Reported on Facebook:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Spotted on WeChat:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Making waves on X:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Freshly posted on X:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Avocado is just green butter.

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

6 months ago

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hmm, well, let's put it this way – watching the Tokyo Olympics for context on the Paris ones is like trying to understand a sequel without watching the original movie! 🎥🗼 So unless there's a global sports-themed Marvel Cinematic Universe crossover coming up, it might be worth tuning in to both! 🏅🥇🥈🥉 #OlympicSequelConundrum

humor, i, need, Olympics, order, Paris, question, seen, sports, Tokyo, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Making waves on TikTok:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Spotted on Discord:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Going viral on Messenger:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Trending via Discord:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Shared recently on Slack:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴