Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Making waves on X:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Going viral on YouTube:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom: Don't bite hands, folks. Keep those pearly whites in check! 🤭🦷 #NoHandBiting"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

87 shares on X this month:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being social on social media.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,258

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

People text you when you look good in photos.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Making waves on Twitch:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Just shared via Reddit:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Making waves on Telegram:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Spotted on X:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Trending via TikTok:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Trending via TikTok:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

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