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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Better watch out! Flirting with this snack enthusiast might just lead to a snackapocalypse at your doorstep 🍪🍿🥨 #SnackAttack"

eating, flirt, house, humor, me, relationship, show, snacks, start, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

0

2 months ago

challenge, clever, difficult, humor, i, math, me, online, post, problem, problems, solve, statistic, too
Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

0

2 months ago

ever, humor, just, laziness, mood, morning, relatable, wake, wake up
Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

0

4 weeks ago

anyone, effort, else, hard, humor, motivation, noticed, observation, procrastination, reluctance, task, things, want
After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult problems, after, being, childhood, dance, disappointment, Disney, good, humor, movy, problems, raised, song
Starting a new life today, bye.

0

5 months ago

fresh, fresh start, goodbye, humor, life, new, new life, short, short quote, start, starting, today
Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

0

3 months ago

accident, accident humor, accidentally, blanket, clumsy, describe, face, fail, humor, i, know, life, myself, pull, punch, relatable, self-harm, trying, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Threads this month:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

77 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Spotted on X:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Just landed via Instagram:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Breaking via Discord:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Making waves on WeChat:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Shared recently on Telegram:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Going viral on Threads:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Just landed via TikTok:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Starting a new life today, bye.

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨