Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2404 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,566

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,566

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Trending via Pinterest:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Spotted on Telegram:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Spotted on Threads:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "When the whining orchestra begins its performance, the only logical response is to dial up Mom for an apology… and maybe a crash course on dealing with miniature divas and divos! 📞👶 #ParentingPerks"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2404 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,566

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,566

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Reported on Twitch:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Making waves on Discord:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Trending via Discord:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Spotted on Slack:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Breaking via Instagram:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Seen just now on Messenger:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

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