Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Just shared via Twitch:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about prioritizing food over relationships, humorous and lighthearted.

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Commentary:
"At least food won't break your heart or steal your fries. You do you, foodie extraordinaire!"

boyfriend, food, girl, girlfriend, love

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

47 shares on Twitch this month:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

38 shares on X this month:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

37 shares on X this month:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Seen just now on X:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Live now on Discord:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Just landed via YouTube:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Spotted on Instagram:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Just landed via TikTok:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Just shared via Messenger:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨