Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Going viral on X:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Trending via Reddit:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Spotted on Twitch:

I put the mess in domestic.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Going viral on X:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Spotted on Messenger:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Just shared via Twitch:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"At least food won't break your heart or steal your fries. You do you, foodie extraordinaire!"

boyfriend, food, girl, girlfriend, love

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

0

2 months ago

affirmation, anyone, beautiful, case, compliment, confidence, humor, self-love, today, told
Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

0

2 months ago

diet, dinner, eating, food, food humor, humor, i, joke, lasagna, sarcasm, talk, today, vegetable, vegetable lasagna, want
Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

0

2 months ago

break, cooking, every, food, half, humor, italian, joke, noodles, spaghetti, stereotype, stroke, time
How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

0

2 months ago

age, age humor, aging, humor, impatience, joke, kick, life, life joke, old, older, still, thing, waiting, wisdom, wise
Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

0

2 months ago

5pm, blink, getting, humor, relaxation, short, shorter, Sunday, time, weekend
As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

0

4 months ago

entertainment, forgive, humor, low, low self-esteem, man, men, need, self-esteem, woman, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Telegram this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

27 shares on X this month:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

38 shares on X this month:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Going viral on WeChat:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Just landed via Facebook:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Just landed via Reddit:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Trending via Discord:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Trending via WeChat:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨