Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.