Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.
  • Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.
  • In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.
  • I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.
  • Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
  • Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.