Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

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I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

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Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

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And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

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I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

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I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

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I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

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Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

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Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

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It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

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Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.