Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Just landed via YouTube:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Live now on Telegram:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Just shared via Instagram:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Spotted on Instagram:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Trending via Discord:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Just landed via TikTok:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Going viral on Instagram:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Going bananas on Threads:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

2 months ago

0

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate talent of navigating the treacherous checkout line maze! 🛒🤦‍♂️ It's like a secret power that always leads to the slowest line! Who knew selective incompetence could be so prevalent at the register? 😅 #ShoppingChronicles"

before, checkout, checkout line, everyone, experience, filled, frustration, humor, life, line, mine, never, people, picking, shopping, talent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

0

2 months ago

aging, getting, getting older, humor, moan, older, sexy
I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

0

2 months ago

anniversary, bit, cards, celebration, commit, humor, i, love, relationship, sign
This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

0

2 months ago

everyday, everyday life, gratitude, grocery, grocery list, humor, journal, life, list, looks, lot, sarcasm
Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

0

2 months ago

Adam, babysitter, biblical, eve, even, humor, i, irony, parenting, sometimes, think
Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

0

2 months ago

dating, deserve, DM, less, me, sarcasm, self-worth
Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

0

4 months ago

Christmas, Christmas tree farm, digger, farm, flirting, fly, gold, gold digger, grandpa, hand, hand rubbing, hands, humor, me, night, rubbing, shit, told, tree, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,262

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Making waves on Telegram:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Trending via Telegram:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Spotted on Reddit:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Going bananas on Slack:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Making waves on Telegram:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴