Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate talent of navigating the treacherous checkout line maze! 🛒🤦‍♂️ It's like a secret power that always leads to the slowest line! Who knew selective incompetence could be so prevalent at the register? 😅 #ShoppingChronicles"

before, checkout, checkout line, everyone, experience, filled, frustration, humor, life, line, mine, never, people, picking, shopping, talent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

1 month ago
apple, fairy, fairy tale, food, food humor, food preference, humor, i, love, me, poison, preference, romance, snow, Snow White, something, taco, tale, white
You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

1 month ago
dating, female, female friend, friend, friends, friendship, humor, know, life, love, love life, open, sarcasm, stupidity
The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

1 month ago
creativity, food, humor, imagination, joke, limit, physics, put, sandwich, thing
One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

3 months ago
animal, day, going, humor, love, obsession, relationship, someone, squirrel
Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

1 month ago
call, came, humor, i, joke, paradox, time, time traveler, today, traveler, yesterday
If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

1 month ago
cancel, distraction, entertainment, fight, fighting, i, keep, need, neighbor, neighbors, noise, service, services, streaming, streaming service

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Just shared via TikTok:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏