Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Live now on Telegram:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Making waves on Messenger:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Live now on Facebook:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Trending via Instagram:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Just shared via Messenger:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs labeled 'dishwasher safe' when you have a 'carelessly toss in and hope for the best' approach? 🍽️🚫🧼 #LivingOnTheEdge"

appliance, attitude, care, cleaning, dishwasher, everything, humor, perspective, safe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

2 months ago

always, dating, expectations, humor, intelligent, intelligent man, irony, know, love, man, marry, men, relationship, want, women
This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

2 months ago

coming, convinced, cravings, digestion, food, gum, humor, humorously, humorously relatable, joke, relatable, stomach, stomachache
I am the human version of tangled headphones.

3 months ago

am, analogy, headphones, human, humor, i, self-deprecation, tangled, version
When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

2 months ago

body, body image, day, feel, humor, image, observation, shopping, thinnest, through, time, walk, Walmart, want
People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

2 months ago

glass, glass house, house, houses, humor, hypocrisy, irony, judgment, live, people, put, sarcasm, should, watchlist
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

3 months ago

book, careful, caution, death, die, health, health book, humor, irony, life, misprint, reading

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

33 shares on X this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

30 shares on Threads this month:

People should come with warning labels.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Just landed via Threads:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Making waves on Twitch:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Spotted on Telegram:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Just shared via Discord:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨