Trendy Funny Quotes

  • A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.
  • I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.
  • I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.
  • Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.
  • Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.
  • I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.