Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions? 🚫📝 Because who needs all that paper-pushing when we can just wave some magic wands and make things happen?! ✨ #PetitionCeption #BanTheBanPetition"

absurdity, ban, excuse, humor, irony, me, petition, political, request, sign

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

0

2 months ago

back, back pain, comedy, curtsy, deep, deep curtsy, going, humor, lean, leaning, leaning over, over, pain, physical, physical comedy, picking, picking up, things
Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

0

2 months ago

forgetfulness, grocery, grocery store, home, humor, irony, memory, need, nothing, refresh, shopping, store
When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

0

2 months ago

anytime, birth, comedy, day, everyday, everyday humor, exaggeration, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, joke, perception, relativity, sarcastic, say, time, yesterday
I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

0

2 months ago

after, always, break, day, day off, humor, i, Monday, rest, should, Sunday, think, weekend, work, work break
And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

0

2 months ago

add, add to cart, cart, coping, coping mechanism, humor, mechanism, online, online shopping, sad, sadness, shopping
I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

0

2 months ago

day, disappointment, even, Friday, frustration, good, humor, i, mood, only, realization, Thursday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Threads this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Going viral on Facebook:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Trending via TikTok:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Spotted on YouTube:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Trending via Discord:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Trending via Reddit:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨