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Commentary:
"Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions? 🚫📝 Because who needs all that paper-pushing when we can just wave some magic wands and make things happen?! ✨ #PetitionCeption #BanTheBanPetition"

absurdity, ban, excuse, humor, irony, me, petition, political, request, sign

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

0

2 months ago

bowel, bowel movement, daily, daily routine, humor, life, living, movement, people, routine
I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

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2 months ago

favorite, favorite part, humor, i, interruption, music, over, restart, song, talk, talking
If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

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2 months ago

coming, ever, humor, just, nature, observation, slow, snail, surprise, wit
Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

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1 week ago

around, ask, awkwardness, customer, humor, indecision, interaction, member, normal, person, shop, shopping, social, social interaction, something, staff, times, walk, works
At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

0

2 months ago

always, Christmas, finance, holiday, humor, invoice, joke, outstanding, payment, reference, seasonal, time
I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

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2 months ago

aluminum, aluminum foil, bet, cooking, feels, foil, food, funny observation, good, humor, i, observation, oiling, potato, preparation, wrapping

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

64 shares on Discord this month:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

82 shares on TikTok this month:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

68 shares on Threads this month:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Trending via Messenger:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Going bananas on X:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Broadcasted on X:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Going viral on Telegram:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Spotted on WeChat:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨