Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.
  • Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.
  • I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.
  • Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.
  • Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.
  • Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.