Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic glasses-free menu roulette game! 🎲🍽️ Let's hope your finger lands on the culinary jackpot and not the mysterious 'Chef's Surprise' dish! 👀🍀"

best, dining, forgetfulness, forgot, glasses, hoping, humor, menu, mishap, pointing, random, spot

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Telegram this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

99 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

45 shares on X this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

57 shares on Slack this month:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Just landed via YouTube:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Just landed via X:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Breaking via Facebook:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Spotted on Reddit:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨