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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Breaking via TikTok:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Trending via Threads:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Breaking via Discord:

God saw you do that.

Just landed via Discord:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Just landed via Discord:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Trending via TikTok:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Just landed via X:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Going viral on Threads:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Just landed via WeChat:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Just shared via Instagram:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

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