Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

  • ⚡ Funny Quotes Slot →
Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

17,807 funny quotes topics

Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

11 Funny absence quotes

Funny absence quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when someone’s not around 🙈 Whether it’s a cheeky excuse or a witty take on missing out, these sayings add humor to the empty chair at work or school 🪑😂 Ready to laugh at the art of being MIA? Let’s dive into some playful gems that celebrate absence with a smile! 😄✨

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Posted onJan 20, 2026

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Posted onJan 20, 2026

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Posted onJan 19, 2026

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Posted onJan 18, 2026

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨