Funny absence quotes

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

  Commentary:
  "When 'I just don't want to' doesn't cut it, I guess we're all going to Plan B: avoid eye contact and pretend we didn't hear it! 🙈🤷‍♂️😂"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the wise words of someone who truly understands the value of the little things in life! Who knew that the humble toilet paper could teach us such profound lessons in gratitude and appreciation? Remember, folks, never underestimate the power of a well-stocked bathroom!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Christmas is coming and you’re not.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa might need to make a detour to deliver a sense of humor this year! 🎅🏼🙊 But hey, who needs Christmas when you've got puns like this all year round, am I right? 🎄😂

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to family gatherings, I'm like the elusive cousin who's practically a myth now 🤷‍♂️ Maybe my invitation got lost in the mail? Or perhaps I just bring too much excitement to the party that they can't handle? Who knows! 🎉💁‍♂️ #LifeOfTheMissingRelative"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal triangle of relationships: sex, love, and… wait, where's my pizza? 🍕🤷‍♂️ #SingleAndReadyForCarbs"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone wasn't just a few fries short of a happy meal… they missed out on the entire drive-thru experience! 🛠️🍔😂"

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