Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The shitshow must go on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Live now on Pinterest:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Trending via X:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Going viral on X:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Trending via X:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Spotted on YouTube:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Making waves on YouTube:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Live now on Facebook:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Just shared via Slack:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Funny botanical quotes

New funny botanical quotes 👇

All funny botanical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

54 shares on X this month:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Spotted on Messenger:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Going bananas on Slack:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Trending via Facebook:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Just landed via Discord:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

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