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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Seen just now on Discord:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Trending via Instagram:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Going viral on Twitch:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Making waves on Discord:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Making waves on Messenger:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Spotted on X:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Reported on Discord:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Trending via Slack:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Going viral on X:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

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