Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Going viral on WeChat:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Shared recently on X:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just landed via WeChat:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Just landed via Discord:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Shared recently on Discord:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just shared via Snapchat:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Spotted on Facebook:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Funny carbon dioxide quotes

Funny carbon dioxide quotes bring a breath of fresh air 🌬️ to science and everyday life! Whether you’re a chemistry geek 🧪 or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines will have you exhaling laughter 😂 while thinking about that invisible gas we can’t live without. Get ready to chuckle and maybe even geek out on the quirks of CO₂! 💨🔥 #ScienceHumor #CarbonDioxideFun

New funny carbon dioxide quotes 👇

All funny carbon dioxide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

83 shares on Threads this month:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just landed via TikTok:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Trending via Threads:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Trending via Threads:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Shared recently on Slack:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Just shared via Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Going viral on Slack:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

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