Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Trending via Reddit:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Live now on Snapchat:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Spotted on Facebook:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Going viral on Facebook:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Seen just now on Threads:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Funny carbon dioxide quotes

Funny carbon dioxide quotes bring a breath of fresh air 🌬️ to science and everyday life! Whether you’re a chemistry geek 🧪 or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines will have you exhaling laughter 😂 while thinking about that invisible gas we can’t live without. Get ready to chuckle and maybe even geek out on the quirks of CO₂! 💨🔥 #ScienceHumor #CarbonDioxideFun

New funny carbon dioxide quotes 👇

All funny carbon dioxide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

17 shares on X this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My life is based on a true story.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Going viral on Discord:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Live now on LinkedIn:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Just landed via WeChat:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Shared recently on Slack:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Going viral on Messenger:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Just landed via Discord:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

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