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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Just landed via Twitch:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Going viral on Twitch:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Going viral on WeChat:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Spotted on Facebook:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Going viral on Discord:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Just landed via Facebook:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Just shared via Facebook:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I need money, not feelings.

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