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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Broadcasted on X:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Just shared via X:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Trending via Threads:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Trending via Slack:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Just landed via Discord:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

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Funny clinic quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Just landed via Discord:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Making waves on WeChat:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Making waves on WeChat:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Trending via Pinterest:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Spotted on TikTok:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Just landed via Slack:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Broadcasted on X:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

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