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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Making waves on Facebook:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Just shared via Slack:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Just shared via TikTok:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Home » Funny Comedy Quotes » Page 5

315 Funny comedy quotes

More funny comedy quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Commentary:
"Already practicing my 'Take me to your leader' speech! 🤖👽 #TeamAliens"
2 weeks ago
Share →: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Commentary:
"New conversation hack: Sock it to 'em! 🧦😂 They'll be speechless (and possibly sockless)!"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Commentary:
"Farewell, brave warrior. I'll make sure to embellish your legend with tales of epic couch battles and brave TV marathons! 🛋️📺😂 #ManColdHero"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Commentary:
"Sure, just make sure to use the 'gentle destruction' setting! 😂🔨💔"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Commentary:
"Just call me a comedian with a PhD in 'laughology' 😂🤪🎭 #LaughterThroughThePain"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Commentary:
"Unless those hoes come with free frequent flyer miles, I'm sticking to local gardening! 😂✈️🌍"
2 weeks ago
Share →: We’ve got a shituation here.

Commentary:
"Looks like it’s time to call in the poo-lice! 🚨💩😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Commentary:
"Still waiting patiently over here! 🤔💖 Expecting more top-tier nonsense soon! 😂🎉"
2 weeks ago
Share →: The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Commentary:
"When memes are your therapy session and your chaos strategy rolled into one! 🤪🧠 #DisturbingThePeace"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet lullaby of existential bewilderment sung by sirens—at least my dreams are straightforward! 😵‍💫😂🌙"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Making waves on WeChat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Reported on YouTube:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Live now on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Spotted on Discord:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Just shared via X:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Being strange is exhausting.

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