246 Funny comedy quotes

More funny comedy quotes 👇

• 

  4 months ago

  View →: First responders? You mean reply guys?
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: My life is based on a true story.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I run a parody bank account.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: My bad habits got renewed for another season.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Name a better duo than sad and depressed.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

For even more funny comedy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny comedy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌