Funny quotes commitment

43 Funny commitment quotes

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Funny Quotes Mar 21, 2025

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Funny Quotes Feb 18, 2025

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Funny Quotes Feb 13, 2025

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025