47 Funny commitment quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.
• 

  1 month ago

  View →: Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”
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  3 months ago

  View →: When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.
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  3 months ago

  View →: If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.
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  4 months ago

  View →: No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

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