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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Just landed via Telegram:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Making waves on Slack:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Spotted on WeChat:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Making waves on X:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Just landed via WeChat:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Seen just now on X:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Live now on Snapchat:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

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Funny convicted felon quotes

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All funny convicted felon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,857

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Making waves on Facebook:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

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