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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,757

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Spotted on Slack:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Making waves on Reddit:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Making waves on Threads:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Live now on TikTok:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Just shared via TikTok:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

23 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

100 shares on Discord this month:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Making waves on Reddit:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Just shared via Threads:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

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