Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Freshly posted on Slack:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Just shared via X:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Just shared via Reddit:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Making waves on Instagram:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Spotted on TikTok:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Funny disassemble quotes

Funny disassemble quotes 🤪 bring a hilarious twist to taking things apart! Whether you’re struggling with stubborn gadgets 🔧 or just love the chaos of breaking things down, these witty sayings will crack you up. Perfect for DIY lovers, tech geeks, or anyone who’s ever faced a tricky teardown moment 😂. Get ready to laugh through the mess and embrace the art of disassembly with a smile! 😄✨

New funny disassemble quotes 👇

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

2 days ago

able, body, disassemble, enough, exercise, flexibility, humor, i, Lego, legos, need, stretching

All funny disassemble quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

92 shares on Instagram this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

75 shares on Discord this month:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

12 shares on Discord this month:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Just landed via YouTube:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Spotted on Reddit:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

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