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6 months ago
Share →: Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Commentary:
"Because why pop a pill when you can pop a candy? Sweet relief meets bitter reality 😂🍭💊 #PainPoppingPEZ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

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Shared recently on Messenger:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Live now on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Trending via Snapchat:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Going viral on TikTok:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

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New funny dispenser quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

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