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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Trending via Messenger:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Going viral on Messenger:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Just landed via Twitch:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Reported on Messenger:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Spotted on Facebook:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Spotted on TikTok:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Reported on Discord:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Making waves on X:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Trending via Facebook:

Meow means woof in cat.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

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