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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Going viral on Threads:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Just shared via WeChat:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Just landed via Threads:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Just landed via Facebook:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Making waves on Reddit:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Just shared via Slack:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Just landed via Facebook:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I am cassette tape years old.

Just landed via Messenger:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Trending via Messenger:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Trending via Threads:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Spotted on Discord:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Spotted on Facebook:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

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