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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Going bananas on TikTok:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Just landed via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Going bananas on Instagram:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Spotted on TikTok:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Trending via Pinterest:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,579

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Just shared via X:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Spotted on Slack:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Just landed via Threads:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Breaking via Slack:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Going bananas on YouTube:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

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