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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Just shared via Telegram:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Just shared via Facebook:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Going viral on WeChat:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Trending via YouTube:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Funny heart eyes quotes

New funny heart eyes quotes 👇

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

0

2 months ago

ask, eyes, heart, heart eyes, humor, i, jealousy, missionary, relationship, texting, trust, work

Someone from 🇹🇬 has recently shared this quote.

83 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny heart eyes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

56 shares on X this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Going viral on Instagram:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Trending via YouTube:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Going viral on WeChat:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Spotted on Discord:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Going viral on Instagram:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny heart eyes quotes

New funny heart eyes quotes 👇

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

All funny heart eyes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨