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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Just landed via Instagram:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Making waves on Reddit:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Going viral on Discord:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Spotted on X:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

23 Funny heartbreak quotes

Funny heartbreak quotes can turn even the toughest breakups into moments of laughter. 💔😂 While love might not always be a smooth ride, these quotes bring a touch of humor to the healing process. Dive into the lighter side of heartache with these funny heartbreak quotes! 😄💔

New funny heartbreak quotes 👇

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

0

3 days ago

biology, cheating, chest, emotion, found, heartbreak, i, pain, partner, relationship, wonder
Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

2

1 week ago

away, Christmas, day, disappointment, feel, gift, give, giving, heart, heartbreak, humor, imagine, next, relationship, someone, stupid
I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

0

2 months ago

cliff, echo, friend, friends, heartbreak, humor, i, just, loneliness, love, relationship, right, single
I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

0

2 months ago

break, conversation, dating, five, guy, guys, heart, heartbreak, humor, i, love, me, relationship, seriously, seriousness, take, talk, wants
Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

0

2 months ago

another, dating, fear, heartbreak, humor, love, pointless, relationship, sarcasm, scared, single
Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

0

2 months ago

broke, greeting, heart, heartbreak, humor, know, name, relationship
Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

0

2 months ago

believe, experience, heartbreak, honor, hurt, i, irony, love, me, people, relationship, sarcasm, sometimes
The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

0

2 months ago

breaks, girlfriend, great, growth, heart, heartbreak, humor, ideal, inspiration, love, motivation, relationships, resilience, things
One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

0

2 months ago

broke, heartbreak, humor, i, irony, life, life struggles, lord, money, relationship, struggles
Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

0

2 months ago

back, broken, broken girl, fix, girl, guy, heartbreak, humor, irony, love, relationship, same, same guy, take

For even more funny heartbreak quotes, hit next 👇

All funny heartbreak quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Discord this month:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Being awake is the worst.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

16 shares on X this month:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Spotted on Messenger:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Trending via LinkedIn:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Just landed via Reddit:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Seen just now on Slack:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Making waves on Reddit:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

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