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3 weeks ago
Share →: I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

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Arrr matey, I'm in! Just as long as there's WiFi on the ship for posting selfies with the kraken 📱🌊🦑

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

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Reported on Reddit:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Shared recently on Threads:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Going viral on Twitch:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Just shared via Twitch:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Seen just now on Threads:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

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Funny high seas quotes

New funny high seas quotes 👇

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All funny high seas quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you relate to me, get some help!

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

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