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128 Funny holiday quotes

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  • If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

    Commentary:
    🎅🏼🎁📆 “Santa: the ultimate part-time worker and full-time judge. Must be nice to only work one day a year and spend the rest making his list and checking it twice! 😂📝 #SantaClausIsComingToTown”

  • Text a co-worker at a random time β€œare you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

    Commentary:
    🎄🤪 Not sure if this is a prank or just a new way to spread holiday cheer at work! “Are you joining this meeting?” text could either spark confusion or laughter, or maybe even a frantic search for a missing meeting invite! Either way, it’s the season of surprises, right? 😂 #OfficeHolidayShenanigans

  • Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone took the ‘giving up’ part of Christmas a little too literally! 🎁 Santa will need an extra big sack of motivation for this one! 🎅🏼 #HolidayHumor”

  • Dear Santa, Money!

    Commentary:
    🎅🏼💌 “Dear Santa, Money!” – Ah, the universal Christmas wish – forget the sugarplums, just bring on the cold hard cash! Santa better start investing in a bigger sleigh to carry all those money bags requested by everyone this year! 💸🎄 #NaughtyListOrNah

  • Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that mastering the art of gift wrapping would come with a fitness challenge? 🎁💪 Channeling our inner contortionist this holiday season! 😂 #giftwrappinggoals”

  • It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like Santa traded in his sleigh for a money-printing machine! 💸🎅 Remember, dear wallet, ’tis the season to be jolly… and broke! 🎄💸”

  • I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

    Commentary:
    “Who needs traditional Christmas movies when you’ve got Baby Jesus getting into the action with Die Hard? 🍿🎄 Talk about taking ‘keeping an eye on things’ to a whole new level! 😂”

  • I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone really pushed the limits of holiday spirit! 🎅🧝‍♂️ Let’s just hope Santa doesn’t have CCTV footage of that incident. 📹😂 Remember, desperate times call for desperate measures! 🤭🎁

  • I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

    Commentary:
    “Besties who match together, stay crazy together! 🤪🎁👯‍♀️ Who needs matching sweaters when you can twin in straight jackets? 😂 #bffgoals #crazychristmas”

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