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When the door closes behind your family, tranquility officially kicks off! 🏡🚪😌✨
230 Funny holiday quotes
For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.
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Santa's got a new challenge: solving the mystery of my life by December 25th! 🎅🕵️♂️💡
Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!
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Just realized I'm at stage 2 of Christmas shopping: full panic mode engaged! 🏃♂️💨🎁
December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.
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I always knew Santa had a side gig as a life coach! 🎅🔧✨
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.
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Guess my car just wanted a little less "All I Want for Christmas" and a bit more "Silent Night"! 🚗🔧🎄
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.
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Guess I'll be having a lawful December feast! 🍰🎉👮♂️
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!
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Another round of cookies, please! It's what Santa would want! 🍪🎅🎄
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!
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Brace yourselves, the gift of my wisdom is coming! 🎁🙃💬
White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.
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Nothing says holiday cheer like a room full of people pretending a broken lamp is the Holy Grail 🏺🎁😂
This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.
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Looks like December forgot how to December! 🤔❄️🎄