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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Seen just now on X:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Just landed via YouTube:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Seen just now on Slack:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Just shared via Facebook:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Just landed via Telegram:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Going viral on Telegram:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Trending via Facebook:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Just shared via Facebook:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dear Santa, Money!

Going viral on TikTok:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Reported on TikTok:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

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