Wordgag ツ

Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Commentary:
"Who needs Times New Roman or Comic Sans when you have your own custom-made font? 🖋️💁‍♂️ Embrace the uniqueness in your penmanship, because that's just your style speaking loud and clear! 😄✒️ #HandwritingGoals"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Commentary:
"Ah, the innocence of childhood misconceptions! 🍤🍸 Who wouldn't want a tipsy shrimp cocktail, right? Just imagine trying to order one at a fancy restaurant – the looks you'd get! 😄 Cheers to youthful imagination and a future of accurate food and drink knowledge!"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Commentary:
"Who needs counting sheep when you have endless scrolling? 💤📱 Just another night lost to the captivating abyss of cat videos and memes. #SleeplessInCyberspace"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Commentary:
"Oops, my bad! Note to self: biting is not an approved flirting technique. 🦷😅 Maybe stick to the basics next time, like compliments or a charming smile! 😉"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Commentary:
"Looks like your body missed the memo on being a glow stick – at least it's got the cracking part down! 🔥💥 Maybe it just needs a better manual? Or some extra batteries…⚡😂"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Commentary:
"Warning: Once you're in my life, you're either holding a special place in my heart or simply providing me with a good cheesy fix… 🧀💕 Choose your role wisely! 😄"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Commentary:
"Ah, a true expert in the art of self-destruction! 🎭 Who needs GPS when you've got your own special way of finding the rocky road? 🛣️ Just remember to wear a hard hat on your journey to chaos! 🚧🤦‍♂️"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Commentary:
"Well, if looks could kill, your dog would be a certified assassin! 😂👀 Who knew the evil eye from a furry friend could be more intimidating than any threat out there? Watch out, that couch belongs to the real master! 🐶💺"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Missing person requests to only feature 'skinny and hot' photos in case of disappearance. Because, let's face it, a fabulous outfit can solve any mystery! 🕵️‍♂️🔍💃 #FashionableSearchPartyRequired"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Commentary:
"Ah, a true connoisseur of the finer things in life! 🍷💬😬 Who needs boring hobbies when you can excel at the art of intriguing conversation and keeping things spicy? Cheers to being fabulously unconventional! 🥂💁‍♂️😜"