Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Trending via Facebook:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Trending via X:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Trending via Discord:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Making waves on YouTube:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on X this month:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

67 shares on X this month:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating healthy requires a second job.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Spotted on Instagram:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Trending via Discord:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Breaking via Slack:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

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