188 Funny job quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

  Commentary:
  "Career advice: Work hard now, so LinkedIn can work harder for you later! 🚀💼 #LinkedInEscapePlan"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew cauliflower could be so controversial? 🤔🍪 Report them for crimes against cookies! 😂 #CauliflowerGate"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine getting paid to do what we do best during morning meetings 💤💸 Now that's the kind of job that literally puts the 'dream' in 'dream job'! 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Work for a living? In this economy?

  Commentary:
  "Why work for a living when you can win the lottery and live your best life? 🤑💸 #Goals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's having a 'case of the Mondays'! 🤷‍♂️🖥️ Don't worry, I'm pretty sure the password is 'password123' and as for your job… just press random buttons and hope for the best! 😂 #MondayStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

  Commentary:
  "May your love life be booming and your job secure in 2022! 🥂 Here's to a year of passion without pink slips! 🕺💼 #Priorities"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs casual hookups when you can secure a job instead? 😂👔 Let's just hope this 'Friendship with Benefits' doesn't come with awkward performance reviews! 🤞💼 #NetworkingStrategy"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your workplace needed a "Caution: Falling in Love Zone" sign! 😂💔 Who knew your charm was a workplace hazard! #HeartbreakerOnDuty

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the turtles weren't fans of a 'shellac' treatment! 🐢💅 Maybe stick to your day job next time! 😂 #TurtleWaxingFail"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that a chair could have a case of the Mondays 😆🪑 At least it's job security for the furniture! #LazyChair #LaundryLife"

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