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6 months ago
Share →: Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

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"Looks like someone's got a 'killer' sense of humor 😂💨 Just remember, a true friend will never let you suffer alone in the gas-filled trenches! #FartingForAFriend"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

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Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

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I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

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Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

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Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

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Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

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The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

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“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

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My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

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11 Funny joking quotes

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The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

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“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

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If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

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Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Coffee is just goth water.

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