Funny quotes left

56 Funny left quotes

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Funny Quotes Mar 30, 2025

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Funny Quotes Feb 16, 2025

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Funny Quotes Feb 6, 2025

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025