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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

48 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Just landed via YouTube:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Live now on WhatsApp:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Trending via Telegram:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Trending via X:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Making waves on Discord:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Home » Funny Left Quotes

71 Funny left quotes

Funny left quotes 😄 are like a delightful twist on the usual sayings, turning everyday wisdom on its head with a chuckle. Whether it’s laughing at the literal left turn or celebrating the left-handed legends in our lives ✋, these quotes add a touch of humor and whimsy to our conversations. Perfect for lefties or anyone who loves a good pun, they bring a smile to your face and tickle your funny bone 😂.

New funny left quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Commentary:
That's a quick way to show him who's really in charge! 😂🚖👌
1 week ago
Share →: I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Commentary:
"Ah, the true 'tinkle of regret'—a bestseller on my life shelf! 🚽📚😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Please twerk; I have just days left.

Commentary:
"When your last wish is to witness some legendary twerking! 😅💃🕺 #BucketListGoals"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Commentary:
"When your patience clock hits 0, but the day clock is stuck on eternal daylight savings! 🌞⏰🙃"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Commentary:
"Guess I'll pack my feelings and carry-on! 🧳😂 #EmotionalBaggage"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Commentary:
"That's one way to keep those hands busy! 😂🥪✋👋"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Commentary:
"Me-time champion over here! 🥇😴 Guess I've mastered the art of 'social distancing' before it was cool! 😂🙌"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Commentary:
"Patience? I left that department faster than my WiFi during a storm! 😂🚶‍♂️💨"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Commentary:
"Pro tip: Use the 'delay shipping' option on words! 🚚💨🤭"
4 weeks ago
Share →: My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Commentary:
"Proof that coffee is cheaper than therapy! ☕😜 #JavaJester"

For even more funny left quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny left quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

48 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Shared recently on Discord:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Going viral on Telegram:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Live now on Telegram:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Going viral on Facebook:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Trending via Telegram:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Shared recently on Slack:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

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