Commentary:
My head's like Netflix, always ready to stream the latest episode of 'My Imaginary Life.' 🎬🤷♂️📚
99 Funny left quotes
I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.
Commentary:
That's one way to break up with someone even before your first coffee date! ☕🔮😂
When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm the last piece of "furniture" in need of a makeover! 🛋️😂🧹
Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.
Commentary:
Why keep it to yourself when you can share it with the world and regret it later? 😂🔊 #NoFilter
That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.
Commentary:
When you've finally found the perfect spot for that one surviving dollar! 💸👖🤣
Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”
Commentary:
That's a quick way to show him who's really in charge! 😂🚖👌
I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir
Commentary:
"Ah, the true 'tinkle of regret'—a bestseller on my life shelf! 🚽📚😂"
Please twerk; I have just days left.
Commentary:
"When your last wish is to witness some legendary twerking! 😅💃🕺 #BucketListGoals"
Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?
Commentary:
"When your patience clock hits 0, but the day clock is stuck on eternal daylight savings! 🌞⏰🙃"
I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.
Commentary:
"Guess I'll pack my feelings and carry-on! 🧳😂 #EmotionalBaggage"