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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Spotted on TikTok:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Seen just now on Instagram:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Spotted on TikTok:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Going viral on Instagram:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Seen just now on X:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Funny leg day quotes

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New funny leg day quotes 👇

All funny leg day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

87 shares on Slack this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,249

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Spotted on Instagram:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Just landed via Facebook:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Just shared via TikTok:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

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