I'm not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Commentary:
Oh universe, maybe it's time to switch up the curriculum then! 🤓🌌 Lesson learned: When life keeps throwing shade, just throw some sunglasses on and wink back 😉 #StillLearningButStylish

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of appreciating the art of doing nothing as we age, like a fine wine maturing in a barrel! 🍷 Embracing the relaxation game like a seasoned pro. 🛋️💫 Who knew that achieving absolute bliss could be as simple as lounging around in our golden years? 🌟 #DoingNothingGoals

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Commentary:
"Life: the ultimate teacher that never gives you a break 📚✏️ Maybe if we all collectively failed the lesson, it might just stop teaching them! 🤔🛑 #LifeLessons"

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Commentary:
"Adulting: the process of dodging scams like a pro while pretending to have life all figured out 🕵️‍♂️💼 Remember, it's all fun and games until you accidentally sign up for another pyramid scheme! #AdultingStruggles"

You're never too old to become less of an idiot.

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Commentary:
"Embrace your inner wisdom, for age might just make you less of a doofus 🤓👴🤪 #GrownAndDumber"

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Commentary:
"Seems like the best way to learn life lessons is to give advice to others and then watch them completely ignore it! 🤭💡 #LifeLessons #Irony"

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Commentary:
Ah yes, the beauty of aging gracefully – from wanting to know it all to just wanting to nap it all 😴🧓🏼 Who needs all the answers when you've got comfy slippers and a good book? 📚👵🏼 #WisdomWithAge

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of aging gracefully 🧓 Less small talk, more 'Can you please repeat that?' 🤔🔁 Who knew that hearing could be considered a luxury as we get older? 😂👂 #GettingOlderPerks"

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of parenting – you think you're going to drop some insightful life lessons on your kids, only to realize they're already living those lessons! 🤪🍻 Just when you thought you had it all figured out… Parenting: making you question everything since forever! 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️"

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Commentary:
"Looks like those muggers might need to schedule a rain check if they plan to mug you during your Tai Chi session 🤣👊 Seems like you'll have all the time in the world to prepare your moves at that pace 😉💪"