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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Shared recently on YouTube:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Breaking via TikTok:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Making waves on Telegram:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Funny life situation quotes

Funny life situation quotes bring a burst of laughter to everyday chaos 😂✨ Whether you’re stuck in traffic, dealing with quirky work moments, or navigating awkward social scenes, these witty sayings capture it all perfectly 😜💡 Get ready to smile, relate, and share the humor that makes life’s little mishaps a whole lot more fun! 🎉🤣

New funny life situation quotes 👇

All funny life situation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have a yearning disability.

Seen just now on Threads:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Seen just now on Threads:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

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