Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Just landed via Facebook:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Going viral on Instagram:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Trending via Pinterest:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Trending via Telegram:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Going viral on Discord:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Funny luxury products quotes

New funny luxury products quotes 👇

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

4 weeks ago

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All funny luxury products quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

47 shares on Slack this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

46 shares on Slack this month:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

71 shares on X this month:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Making waves on WeChat:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Breaking via Discord:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Shared recently on X:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny luxury products quotes

New funny luxury products quotes 👇

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

All funny luxury products quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨