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New funny quotes: 9560 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 25, 2026

 

 

 

 

Funny paranoia quotes

Funny paranoia quotes bring a hilarious twist to those wild moments when your imagination runs way too far 😂🔍 Whether you’re convinced your cat is spying on you or the toaster has secret plans, these witty lines turn paranoia into pure comedy gold 🤪🔥 Get ready to laugh at the quirkiest thoughts that sneak into your mind when reality takes a backseat!

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Posted onMar 29, 2026

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