Funny quotes » parents

Funny parents quotes

May 13
Share →: Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.
May 7
Share →: The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.
Nov 19
Share →: When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.
Oct 26
Share →: Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.
Oct 4
Share →: Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.
Oct 3
Share →: Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”
Oct 3
Share →: Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.
Sep 29
Share →: The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.
Sep 28
Share →: Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.
Sep 28
Share →: When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.