Funny Parents Quotes That Will Have You Laughing at Parenthood! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦😂

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

May 13, 2024May 13, 2024

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

May 7, 2024May 7, 2024

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Nov 19, 2023Nov 19, 2023

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Oct 26, 2023May 7, 2024

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Oct 4, 2023Oct 7, 2023

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Oct 3, 2023Oct 3, 2023

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Oct 3, 2023Oct 3, 2023

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Sep 29, 2023Sep 29, 2023

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Sep 28, 2023Sep 28, 2023

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Sep 28, 2023Sep 28, 2023

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Sep 25, 2023Sep 25, 2023

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

Strict parents raise good liars.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

My parents think they know me.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Sep 22, 2023Oct 22, 2023

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 29, 2023

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 23, 2023