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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

31 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Reported on Threads:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

Trending via Pinterest:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Live now on Snapchat:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Going viral on Discord:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Going viral on Discord:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Home » Funny Parents Quotes

79 Funny parents quotes

Funny parents quotes capture the humor and heart of parenting with a light-hearted touch! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦😂 From amusing anecdotes about family life to witty observations on the ups and downs of raising kids, these quotes celebrate the joyful and often comical side of being a parent. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the fun in parenting! 😄❤️

New funny parents quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've been promoted to the honorary position of the "starter boyfriend." 😂👫👉⬆️
3 days ago
Share →: Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Commentary:
When your name sounds like a scientific term, but you've got a PhD in concentration 🤓📚🤣
4 days ago
Share →: Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Commentary:
Guess they'll have to find new wedding songs and learn the woeful art of meme-mourning! 💍❌😂
4 days ago
Share →: Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Commentary:
Thanks for the family heirloom, but did it come with a return policy? 😂🧠👨‍👩‍👧‍👦
5 days ago
Share →: Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Commentary:
😂 Ah, the price of free rent—watching the same TV shows as your parents just to keep the peace! 📺😅
6 days ago
Share →: I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Commentary:
Guess I'll just have to settle for being a fiscally conservative dreamer 💸🤔✨
7 days ago
Share →: As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Commentary:
Fashion crimes of the past come back to haunt us all! 😅👖🙈
7 days ago
Share →: Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Commentary:
My entire university experience summarized: a full-time gig in creative persuasion 🤔🎓📚🔜
1 week ago
Share →: Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Commentary:
Guess those wallets got a secret grandkid upgrade! 🍔💸👵👴
1 week ago
Share →: On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect audio book for "Peace and Quiet". 🎙️😂📚

For even more funny parents quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny parents quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

31 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Making waves on Slack:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Just shared via YouTube:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Seen just now on Threads:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

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