Funny parents quotes

Funny parents quotes capture the humor and heart of parenting with a light-hearted touch! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦😂 From amusing anecdotes about family life to witty observations on the ups and downs of raising kids, these quotes celebrate the joyful and often comical side of being a parent. Enjoy a laugh and appreciate the fun in parenting! 😄❤️

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Funny Quotes May 13, 2024

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Funny Quotes May 7, 2024

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Funny Quotes November 19, 2023

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Funny Quotes October 26, 2023

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Funny Quotes October 4, 2023

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Funny Quotes October 3, 2023

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Funny Quotes October 3, 2023

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Funny Quotes September 29, 2023

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Funny Quotes September 28, 2023

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Funny Quotes September 28, 2023

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Funny Quotes September 25, 2023

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023

Strict parents raise good liars.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023

My parents think they know me.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Funny Quotes September 22, 2023