105 funny parents quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

May 25, 2026

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

May 25, 2026

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

May 25, 2026

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

May 25, 2026

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

May 25, 2026

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

May 25, 2026

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

May 25, 2026

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

May 25, 2026

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

May 24, 2026

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

May 24, 2026

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

May 24, 2026

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

May 24, 2026

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

May 24, 2026

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

May 23, 2026

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

May 23, 2026

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

May 23, 2026

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

May 23, 2026

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

May 23, 2026

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

May 23, 2026

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

May 23, 2026

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

May 23, 2026

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

May 23, 2026

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

May 23, 2026

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

May 23, 2026

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

May 23, 2026

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

May 22, 2026

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

May 22, 2026

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

May 22, 2026

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

May 22, 2026

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

May 22, 2026

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

May 22, 2026

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

May 22, 2026

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

May 22, 2026

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

May 22, 2026

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

May 22, 2026

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

May 21, 2026

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

May 21, 2026

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

May 21, 2026

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

May 21, 2026

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

May 21, 2026