105 funny parents quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

May 21, 2026

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

May 21, 2026

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

May 21, 2026

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

May 21, 2026

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

May 21, 2026

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

May 21, 2026

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

May 21, 2026

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

May 21, 2026

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

May 20, 2026

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

May 20, 2026

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

May 20, 2026

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

May 20, 2026

Strict parents raise good liars.

May 20, 2026

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

May 20, 2026

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

May 20, 2026

My parents think they know me.

May 20, 2026

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

May 20, 2026

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

May 20, 2026

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

May 19, 2026

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

May 19, 2026

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

May 19, 2026

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

May 19, 2026

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

May 19, 2026

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

May 19, 2026

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

May 19, 2026