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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Spotted on Discord:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Going viral on X:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Making waves on Twitch:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Just landed via Threads:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Just shared via X:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Breaking via Slack:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

112 Funny play quotes

More funny play quotes 👇

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

3 months ago

adventure, Australia, game, humor, Jumanji, landscape, nature, play, still, wildlife
Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

3 months ago

afternoon, child, child play, eat, fish, fishing, humor, kid, lifetime, man, parenting, play, pretend, sting, stingray, teach

For even more funny play quotes, hit next 👇

All funny play quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

61 shares on X this month:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

80 shares on X this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Back to the Future and chill?

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

19 shares on Reddit this month:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Just landed via X:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Trending via Slack:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Seen just now on X:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Shared recently on Threads:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

112 Funny play quotes

More funny play quotes 👇

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

All funny play quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨