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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2384 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,546

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,546

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Shared recently on Telegram:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Reported on Snapchat:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Just landed via Reddit:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Just landed via X:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Going viral on TikTok:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2384 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,546

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,546

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Shared recently on X:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Reported on Slack:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Going viral on Reddit:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Going viral on Reddit:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

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